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10 reasons why you shouldn’t visit the Philippines

Home to over 7,641 tropical islands, the Philippines is what you can call ‘The land of the Islands’. Wow, that rhymed! And, if you are thinking about visiting at least one island every day, then it will take you about 21 years. That is so much time. But, you know what, it will still be worthy. Or not? There is a reason travellers pick the neighbouring countries of Thailand & Malaysia and skip the Philippines. Read on to know why you shouldn’t visit the Philippines. My favourite is number 5.

10. You will turn into a karaoke monster

 

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Filipinos love them some Karaoke. It’s everywhere! There’s always someone belting out a tune – apparently almost every household has a karaoke machine aswell as bars and shopping malls. Infact sometimes the hostel receptionist will be singing away while checking you in, or the shop assistant while serving you. Are they all super talented singers? Errr not quite. But the awesome thing is, no-one cares. Nobody laughs at someone for being terrible or judges anyone else’s ability. Which means that no-one is self conscious about their singing even when completely sober and they just enjoy the fun of it. Another example of the loveliness of Filipino people. . . . . #exploringthephillipines #phillipines #islandlife #ilovethephillipines #instatravel #solotraveller #femalebackpacker #backpacker #backpackingthephillipines #travelingram #travelgram #picoftheday #sheisnotlost #wearetravelgirls #passionpassport #girlsvsglobe #karaoke #karaoketime #filipinokaraoke #nationalpasstime #itsalmostahobby

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If there is one thing that the Filipinos are obsessed about, it is karaoke. Every bar, restaurant, or party that you attend, there is a karaoke machine. And people just go mad singing. The spirit is out of the roof and you can’t resist it anymore and so you join along. Soon, you will be unstoppable as well. Look at the monster you have become!

9. Hello there, stretch Armstrong


The Philippines have an equal number of massage places as they have the beaches. They are so cheaply-priced and tempting that you will want to go all the time. And soon you will turn into a stretch Armstrong. All wiggly-wiggly.

8. You will want to become a cow


In the Bohol Province is a scenery you wouldn’t have ever seen in your life. There is an endless stretch of conical mounds that look like they are from outer space called Chocolate hills. But why Chocolate hills? While the mounds are carpeted in lush green grass throughout the rainy season, come dry season and the top of the mounds turn into a chocolatey-brown colour. The tops look so delicious that you wish you were a cow and just much on them. But stop lusting you hooman, you are not a cow. Be sane.

7. Jealousy will hit you

 

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So you are in the Philippines and are already intrigued by the beauty of the Filipinos. And, are a little jealous. But trust me, this will be only until you come in face to face with Tarsier. The nocturnal mammal which is not taller than 6 inches, Tarsier has bulbous eyes and rotating heads. And, it will be the cutest thing you will ever see, period. A word of caution though, they are so cute that you will start questioning how you look and soon you will be overflowing with jealousy.

6. You will not stop eating

 

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Colors and sizzles of deliciousness | #filippinofood #lunch #sisig #kumare #adobo #richmondeats

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A mix of a wide range of cuisines including Malay, Chinese, Spanish, Asian, and American, Filipino cuisine is one of the unique cuisines there is. Made from the native citrus fruit of Calamansi is the Calamansi juice that looks like a glass of sunshine. Striking with bright colours is the mouth-watering dessert of Halo-Halo. There is also the tamarind-based soup of Sinigang, braised chicken/pork dish of Adobo, and the unique duck embryo dish of Balut. But do not try any of these. Because they are sprinkled with black magic and after you taste one, you will want to try more. And, I cannot even try to explain what will happen next. By then, you will be inflated like a balloon.

5. Booze overdose

The cost of the liquors in the Philippines is so cheap that you might soon replace it for drinking water. You can easily get the local favourite brand of San Miguel beer and gin at a rate of 1-2 dollars. That is incredibly cheap. Now, now, are you already thinking about how quick you can replace water with alcohol? See that’s how evil this place is. The locals invite you over to their houses to break a toast. What even? Who invites a stranger over to their house for a drink? Run away from there!

4. No place to gossip

The Filipinos, unlike other Asian people, can understand English. In fact, English is the preferred language of communication in most schools and businesses. So, no more struggling in a foreign country. But, you can no more gossip in front of Filipinos. Because why not? Being the overly friendly people they are, they might start contributing to the gossip also.

3. Festivals that’ll leave you blind

The list of festivals in the Philippines is so long that they run all year-long. So, regardless of when you visit the destination, there is some festival or the other. Festivals in the Philippines always come with a lot of colour. The locals are dressed up in their finest and there happens a parade erupting with energy and dance competitions. There is so much colour. But close, close your eyes, you might go blind. It’s better that we stay at our homes doing nothing. Anyways, who has all the energy to dance?

2. You will get lost in the islands and the beaches

As you now already know, there are a total of 7,641 islands and it is easy for you to get lost in one of those. Furthermore, each island is distinct in its own way and the beauty they behold is too much to bear. Why go through all this torture! What about the beaches? They aren’t any good either. The contrasting white-sand beaches and the turquoise-blue waters look-like some HD wallpaper. Who wants a wallpaper? Huh! White beach in Boracay is even rated as one of the best beaches in the world multiple times. Yes, that must be a conspiracy for sure.

1. Heartbreaks incoming

Asians, in general, are known to be friendly people. So, it is no surprise that Filipinos will be friendly as well. But, the Filipinos are friendlier than all the Asian countries put together. They are incredibly welcoming and their warm smile is contagious. They are humorous as well. Actually speaking, the fun begins even before you land in the Philippines. On the Cebu Pacific that flies to the Philippines, there are board games that will make you go gaga. Like who wants to play when on the plane. That’s rubbish.

The locals here gel with you so fast that they invite you to their house, introduce their family members, and before you know, you are a vital cog in the family. And, the part I hate the most is when you have to say goodbye to these lovely faces. It’s like leaving a piece of you behind. Now that is heartbreaking enough for you not to visit the Philippines.


Still want to take a trip to the Philippines? Go ahead you normal person. Book your trip now.

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